The Great Escape -- by Kinkers

My humans escaped their enclosure today. The four-foot-high fence that surrounds their run is usually sufficient to keep them contained as humans are poor climbers and can barely jump at all. However, a downed tree had compressed a section of the fence, lowering it just enough for them to get over it. I knew right then that I was in for a long, frustrating day.

At first, they stuck close to the fence, no doubt seeking the comfort of familiar surroundings. I was even able to draw them back inside a few times, but since I was unable to repair the fence, they simply climbed back out again. So annoying. Then they began to wander off and my annoyance turned to concern.

You see, these humans are far too tame to survive on their own in the wild. They can't even hunt! I've attempted to teach them to provide for themselves by bringing them injured prey to practice on, but they are so inept they have not yet managed a single kill. If I didn't bring them fresh prey several times a week, I am certain they would starve. But I digress.

Once loose in the woods, the inexperienced humans chose the most difficult path possible through the trees, making enough noise to attract every predator for miles around. Still, they moved surprisingly quickly for such large, cumbersome beasts and soon had distanced themselves far enough from the enclosure that I feared they would not be able to find their way back. (Humans have an extremely poor sense of direction and horrible eyesight.) I followed in their wake, trying to direct them back toward the run, but have you ever actually tried to herd humans? It's impossible!

I called to them continuously, warning them of their impending doom and encouraging them to return home, but they just kept moving deeper and deeper into the woods. Reluctantly, I followed. After all, I've invested almost three years into training this particular pair. I wasn't about to lose all that hard work. I simply had to get them back to safety, somehow.

Thankfully, the terrain eventually grew too steep and rough for them to continue. But did they simply turn around and head back they way they'd come? Of course not! Silly creatures managed to get themselves into the woods yet could not figure out how to get back out. Fortunately, now that they were hopelessly lost, they were finally willing to follow me. I attempted to show them the easiest path back, but humans are stubborn and, I think, not terribly bright. They kept going the wrong way. Often it was necessary to sit at the obviously appropriate spot for several minutes before they would grudgingly give it a try. Still, we gradually made progress though they frequently fell behind, forcing me to wait for them to catch up. 

Finally, the enclosure was in sight. Another tree had taken out the entire corner of the fence. (I really must do something about that.) Anyway, I figured once they were within view of home, they'd manage to make it back easily. I was mistaken. Though I showed them how to run along the log, directly back into the enclosure, they took a much longer, more difficult route through the underbrush. By now I was exhausted from chasing them through the woods all afternoon, so I just settled atop the fallen tree where I could keep an eye on them, trusting they would find their way back inside on their own. Eventually, they did, though it took them several tries to actually reach the opening. 

Finally back inside the safety of the fence, I followed them long enough to make sure they returned to their den without further mishap, then found a quiet place to settle down for a bath and much needed nap. Keeping humans as pets is seriously hard work. They require constant supervision and are always getting into trouble. Lucky for them that they are so darn cute.

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A Sticky Situation

It never occurred to me, as I headed up to the garden for the morning watering, that I'd be spending a half hour or more trying to remove a snake from a strip of duck tape. Some things you just don't see coming, even when they are totally your fault. But, wait, let me back up a bit.

A little over a week ago, I planted some bean seeds. I do this every year and every year the mice steal and eat about 85% of them, leaving me with maybe 3-4 seedlings, if I'm lucky. So this year, I decided to take some defensive measures to keep the little thieves out of my starter pots. It seemed like such a good idea at the time.

I converted some of my extra potting trays into covers, knowing they would match up because all the trays were the same size. However, I needed to keep the tiny mice from just crawling through the big gaps, so I attached some metal screening to the bottoms (which would be the tops when inverted). I used duck tape to attach the screen because I've had issues with glue holding to plastic like that. When they were finished, they worked just as I'd envisioned. I was very pleased with my cleverness, which is usually the beginning of my downfall.

A few days later, I notice the duck tape was starting to peel up from the screen. All the humidity from the seed pots, which must be kept constantly moist, was keeping the tape from sticking to the screen. It held fine to the  plastic trays, but there just wasn't enough surface area on the screen material for the tape, sticky as it is, to maintain purchase and it was simply curling away.

After considering the problem for a day or so, I decided that if I put duck tape on both sides of the screen, the tape would stick to itself through the holes in the screen. After all, nothing sticks to duck tape better than more duck tape. Brilliant, eh? Unfortunately, I procrastinated actually implementing the idea. There is so much to do in the garden in spring and the screen was staying in place in spite of the curling tape. It honestly didn't seem like that urgent of a problem ... until this morning.

I stepped into the greenhouse and started watering the seed pots when something odd caught my eye. There was a snake, stretched out along the top of one of the covers, next to the duck tape. Now, snakes in the greenhouse are no big surprise. They love how warm it gets in there and I see them rustling about all the time. But usually they hide when I come in and this one was just laying there, not moving at all. And something about it looked ... off.

It took a moment before my brain caught up with what my eyes were seeing. The snake had snuggled in under that inviting curl ... and gotten stuck to the gluey side of the tape. Almost its entire body was immobilized, including its jaw, which was locked into an open position. I could tell it had been there for awhile, too, because it was starting to look very dry. My heart broke when I realized what I had done to this poor, unsuspecting creature. 

I reached down to pick up the snake and turn it loose, but I couldn't. It was really, really stuck. I was afraid of ripping its skin right off if I pulled any harder. I had no clue how to free it. Then it occurred to me that misting the seeds had caused the tape to curl. Maybe if I misted the tape around the snake, it would come loose. I misted like crazy, but no luck. The snake remained firmly adhered to the tape. 

Next, I decided to try removing the tape, with the poor attached snake, from the tray to see if that would make things any easier. I got lucky and a good portion of the tape decided to tear right along the snake's body, freeing about two-thirds of it. Unfortunately, that left a good six inches of snake, including its head, still seriously stuck.

I carried the critter, who was now extremely unhappy with me, down to the house. I put some water into one of those saucers you place under pots and tried soaking the tape and snake in it, making sure to keep its head above the water. This worked better than the mist and about half of the still-stuck skin slowly released. The snake also seemed to re-hydrate quite a bit, losing its shriveled look. It also got a LOT feistier, writhing and twisting every time I took it out of the water in a desperate attempt to free itself. It took quite a bit of effort to keep the poor thing from getting even more stuck.

Eventually, it became obvious that the water had released as much as it was going to. The time had come for drastic measures. I settled the snake as best I could in a small box, still in the water to keep it from twisting itself up into the tape, and darted into the house for some cotton swaps and rubbing alcohol. I was worried about the harshness of the alcohol on the snake's skin, but I knew if I didn't get the poor thing free it was going to die. By this point, I was running out of options. 

Over the next several minutes I alternated between dabbing the alcohol along the tape next to the snake and then dipping it back in the water to rinse it off when the snake totally flipped out. Slowly, the alcohol weakened the adhesive enough that our mutual efforts eventually freed the critter from the tape. As soon as it was loose, the snake stopped writhing and contorting and simply settled itself into my hand. After a few minutes, it calmly started curling itself around my fingers, soaking up the welcome warmth after being repeatedly dunked in cold water. 

Since the snake was now much calmer, I took a few minutes to examine it. I didn't see any serious injuries, though I'm pretty sure it lost a few scales to its sticky captor. Still, I couldn't find anything that appeared life threatening. I couldn't think of anything else that I could do to help the creature, so I took it back up to the garden and turned it loose in my strawberry bed. It departed carefully and without haste into the grass and under the brambles. Near as I could tell, the snake was fine. I'm pretty sure it will recover without any issues, though it may give the greenhouse a wide birth from now on.

Having done what I could for my hapless victim, I immediately returned to the greenhouse and snagged the covers from the seed trays. I redid all three until there wasn't even a tiny bit of glue exposed. I'm pretty sure they are safe now, but I will check them often and if they even begin to curl up again, I'll remove them completely. A few bean seeds simply aren't worth the risk.

Please, accept my apology, my dear little snake. I honestly did not realize that would happen. Be safe, little one!

Stepping into Spring

 

 Spring has always been a time of new beginnings and growth for me. I never really got the whole "New Year's Resolution" thing. January is mid-winter. I'm still hibernating and putting things to rest then. Not exactly the best time for starting anew, at least not for me.

But, Spring ... ahhh! New sprouts peeking up from the slowly warming earth. Fresh green buds popping out and adding color to the previously barren trees. All that energy that has been building up for months is suddenly released as the world comes to life again. Now, this is a great time for a fresh start!

This past winter has been a little harsh for me. I suffered a few losses that left my heart sore. Moving out of the darkness and into the light has been more difficult than usual, but I need to do it. The time has come to heal and move forward.

 

 

Still, breaking those sedentary habits can be tough. It has taken a little more convincing than usual to get out of the house and into the garden this year. My start has been slow and jerky, but now that I'm going again it feels great! Sometimes, it's just a matter of taking that first step, even if the path is a bit obscured.

 

Given my renewed level of activity and the desperate need to shake off the winter blues, I decided this would be a good time to return my attention to my fitness goals. A few years ago, I began a determined effort to live healthier and improve my overall fitness. Part of that goal involved losing weight, but mostly it was just about feeling better. I did remarkably well for awhile there. But then, somewhere in the recent months, I kind of dropped all that alongside the path. Time has come to pick it back up again. Healthy body promotes a healthy mind and vice versa, right?

 

So, I'm working hard and trying daily. After the initial effort to break out of my inertia, I'm finding the journey pleasant and enjoyable once more. Because, after all, even if life does get a bit messy and chaotic, there is still beauty to be found. You just have to look for it. So, I'm getting out there every single day and looking. I'm often surprised by what I find.

Already, I'm can feel the changes that come from just getting up and moving on a regular basis. I am stronger and I have tons of energy. I'd forgotten that healthy living actually feels good! I'm still a little slow getting going in the morning, but once I do I move through the day with vigor and anticipation now. So much better than just plodding along. 

So, yeah, I'm enjoying spring even more than usual this year. Like the plants and critters I share my world with, I'm growing stronger and feeling better. I'm finally starting to shake off the past winter's heartache and enjoying life again. And, when you come right down to it, isn't that the whole point of being here?

 

I truly hope your spring is as full of growth,  opportunity and sunshiny goodness as mine is promising to be. Remember, life is there, just waiting for you to "spring" back into it. So, go on. Take that first step. Or, better yet, just close your eyes and jump. You won't regret it. 

I do so love this time of year!

Recipe: Apple Pear Sauce -- Shiny!

Like applesauce, but with pears, too!

I was chatting with my friend, Shiny, on his Twitch channel while making this and he asked for the recipe. So, Shiny, this one is for you. I measured everything out best I could as I went, just as you asked ... even though I never measure anything for this particular dish.

How long it will take:

About 8 1/2 hours from start to finish, but you'll be able to ignore it for most of that time. Only about 30 minutes of actual work at the beginning and then just the occasional stir.

More time will be needed at the end if you want to can it, but that is completely optional. It is perfectly acceptable to just eat it all, though I don't recommend trying it in one sitting.

What you will need:

• crock pot (I have several. I used my six-quart, self-stirring one for this.)
• 2 lbs pears
• 3 lbs tart apples (I used Granny Smiths)
• 3 lbs sweet apples (I used Gala)
• 1/4 cup apple cider (optional, apple juice also works and is also optional)
• 1 tsp cinnamon
• 1/2 tsp nutmeg
• 1/2 tsp ginger
• 1/4 tsp allspice

If you like your applesauce sweeter, go with more sweet apples. If you like it very tart, go with more tart ones. Keep in mind, there is no sugar to counter the tartness and the pears are a bit tart as well. This ratio gave a nice, moderately tart flavor with gentle pear undertones. If you don't like pears, just leave them out. Or replace them with more apples, sweet and/or tart, to give the same volume. (Sorry, Shiny, but that's about as exact as I can get with this one. Use the amounts listed and you won't be disappointed, I promise.)

If you absolutely MUST add sugar (ugh!), go with brown. Seriously, though, you don't need it.

What you will do:

Peel the pears and apples and cut them into largish chunks.  Smaller chunks work, too, and will cook faster. I like large chunks because it's a LOT of peeling and cutting and it goes faster if I leave the chunks bigger.

I've tried leaving the peels on, but if they are tough they can muck with the texture. Had one batch that the peels never quite dissolved, leaving these little "woody" bits throughout the sauce. Tasted fine, but the bits of peel were kind of nasty. You are welcome to skip peeling if you are feeling brave or lazy or simply like the texture of wood in your applesauce. Me? I take the time to peel now.

Toss all the chunks into the crock pot. I do this as I cut them, so I don't have to dirty up a bowl. If you like to wash bowls, by all means, use one. Or two or three. Knock yourself out.

 

NOTE: This amount of fruit filled my six quart crock pot to the top. If you are using a smaller crock, adjust accordingly. Or snack on the extra pieces while the rest cooks. Either works.




 

Pour the cider in with the pears and apples. I add this because it takes awhile for the fruit to "juice up." You can safely omit it, if you want.

Sprinkle with spices. Stir to mix them in, if you like. Or not. The fruit doesn't care. I stirred mine, after I took the picture though.




Cover and cook on low until everything is soft and mushy, stirring occasionally. (Or use a fancy-shmancy self-stirring crock pot, like I did, and it will stir itself.) The fruit should break down and fall apart until it gets to that familiar, applesaucy consistency. The longer you cook it, the darker it gets and the more intense the flavor becomes. If you cook it long enough, it becomes apple-pear butter, but we aren't going to take it that far today.




After about five hours of cooking, the apples had pretty much disintegrated, but some of the pears were still intact. So I grabbed my trusty pink potato-masher and mashed away.





There, that's better!









It's still not as thick as I'd like it though, so I turned the lid sideways to allow some of the moisture to escape. (I think the stirring mechanism will still work like this, but if the lid goes skittering across the kitchen, we'll know I was wrong. Pretty sure the manufacturer advises against this!)

I'll give it another hour or three to thicken up.



After 8 hours, you can see that it's reduced by about half (from the original, full crock). It's a lot thicker now and the sugars have had a chance to caramelize, giving it a rich, brown color. It's hit the point where every bite is an explosion of apples, pears and spices. That means it's ready.




Serve warm, all by itself -- or topped with whipped cream -- or over vanilla ice cream. All are good, trust me.

If you make a lot, like I did, the extra can be canned for later use. (For more info on canning, check out Ball's Fresh Preserving site.) You should also be able freeze it, I would think, though I've never tried. Or just stick it in the refrigerator and eat it all over the next few days. There is no sugar in it, so no guilt. Unless, of course, you put it over ice cream. In which case, you've earned it, right? So, still no guilt.

Recipe: Whole Wheat Pizza Dough

 

A friend of mine requested this recipe and I've been meaning to post it for awhile now. I just keep forgetting because, honestly, I don't make this very often. I mean, face it. Even with the addition of a whole grain crust and lots of veggies, pizza still doesn't quite qualify as "healthful." Unless, of course, you leave off most of the cheese and pepperoni. And then, really, what's the point?

Anyway, for those times when you absolutely MUST satisfy your pizza craving, this is a tasty way to make it a bit healthier for you ... even if you go for the meat-lover extreme version.

WHAT YOU SHOULD KNOW:

I use a combination of white whole wheat flour and spelt flour for this dough, because I like the flavor the spelt adds to it. It can totally be made with just the white whole wheat flour if you don't have, or don't like, spelt. You can also try substituting red whole wheat flour for the spelt, if you prefer, but you will probably need more water.  

A bunch of the ingredients below are listed as optional. That means you can leave them out if you don't want them. Or don't have them. They do add quite a bit of flavor to the crust, which I enjoy. To get a more neutral, plain crust, just omit them.

WHAT YOU WILL NEED:

• 1-1 1/4 cup warm water (about 120-125°F)
• 2 tsp rapid rise yeast
• 1 Tbls sugar
• 1 Tbls olive oil
• 1 1/2 cups white whole wheat flour
• 1 cup spelt flour (or use a total of 2 1/2 cups white whole wheat flour)
• 1 tsp salt
• 1 oz Parmesan cheese, grated (optional)
• 1/2 tsp thyme (optional)
• 1/2 tsp oregano (optional)
• 1/2 tsp marjoram (optional)
• 1/2 tsp basil (optional)
• 1 tsp garlic powder (optional but highly recommended)

WHAT YOU WILL DO:

Measure all ingredients, except for water and olive oil, into a large mixing bowl. That's right, just dump it all in there together. I know, it sounds too easy. Just go with it. 

Give it good stir to mix it all up.

Check your water temperature. You want it pretty warm, about 120-125°F (ask Google if you want that converted to Celsius). If you don't have a cooking thermometer, a good way to judge is that the water should be warm enough that it's uncomfortable, but you should still be able to keep your finger in it without actually taking damage.  

Add the water and olive oil to the dry ingredients and mix well. Switch to a dough hook and allow machine to knead the dough for 6-7 minutes until dough is very elastic. If you don't have a dough hook, you can toss the dough on a lightly floured counter top and knead it by hand for about 10 minutes.

Spray or grease a bowl with olive oil. Place the dough in the bowl, turning to grease the top. 

Cover with a towel and allow to rise until double in bulk, about an hour.

You can tell the dough has risen enough when you gently poke it with two fingers and it leaves an impression. Don't ask me why two. I don't know. You can try one or three, but I won't be responsible when your dough doesn't turn out right.

I like to cook my pizza on an actual pizza stone. It makes for a much crisper crust. Plus, it sounds cool to say you cooked the pizza on a stone. 

To do this, shape the pizza on a large piece of parchment paper. You can place a pizza pan under the parchment to help you get it the right size and shape. If you prefer to cook it directly on the pizza pan, you can still use the parchment paper or skip it and just grease the pan.

Either way, when the dough is ready, punch it down and start smooshing it into shape. If you've had a rough day, all this punching and smooshing can really help you release some of that tension.

 

 

Keep smooshing and stretching until the dough is about a 15-16 inch circle. Leave a little lip on it so that the toppings don't all fall off the edge. 

If you prefer smaller pizzas, you can divide the dough in half and make two individual sized pies. That way, you don't have to worry about YOUR pizza getting contaminated with pineapple. Since I was doing the cooking, there were no pineapple worries so I went with one big one.

Place the pizza stone (but not your crust ... you still need toppings, silly!) in the oven and preheat them both to 425°F. If you aren't using a stone, then I guess you won't be putting it in the oven now, will you? Still preheat the oven though. Pizza cooks faster in a hot oven. 

You can finish putting your pizza together while things heat up. I mean get hot. Ahem. You know what I mean.

Top the shaped crust with sauce and your favorite toppings. Or your partner's favorite toppings if you are trying to earn some brownie points. Though, come to think of it, actual brownies might be better for that. Mmm, brownies. Er ... what was I saying again?

Slide the pizza, parchment and all, onto the pizza stone. Or place the pan in the oven if you are going that route. 

Cook for 15-18 minutes. If cooking on a pan instead of a stone, you can slide the pizza off the pan and cook it directly on the oven rack for the last 2-3 minutes to get a crisper crust. Don't try doing that at the beginning though. You'll just end up with a gooey mess in the bottom of the oven and you'll have to order delivery even after all that work.

I slide the pan I used to shape the pizza under it when I cut it. That way I don't leave a mess all over the stove top. See how clever we are? Oh, yeah, it's recommended you let the pizza sit for about 5 minutes before cutting it. Good luck with that.

Enjoy!

Contentment

I came across this abandoned post today when I came back to the blog at the request of a friend. I honestly don't know why I didn't publish it when I wrote it. Obviously, something distracted me. That happens a lot, actually. Interestingly, I've had a fairly stressful year or two since writing this up (thus the temporary abandonment of the blog). In spite of that, I find it still rings true for me today ... which was actually very encouraging to discover. So, I'm hitting the publish button. I only added one word ... writing ... plus a comment. Other than that, it remains as originally written. I hope you find some wisdom in it. Or hope. But no typos.

Taking a brief respite from recipes today. I had a thought this morning (while mixing up bread dough, so this isn't completely off track from my other posts). It was interesting enough that I wanted to get it down and maybe even share it because, well, it felt like there was something important in there. So, anyway, it occurred to me (as things often do when I'm cooking) that if I were to make three lists ... Stuff I Want, Stuff I Need and Stuff Missing From My Life ... they would look very, very different.

Take the first one: Stuff I Want. I won't bore you with the entire list. Let's just say it would be huge. I mean, gargantuan. I'm the kind of person who doesn't just have one Amazon Wish List ... I have like 15. Seriously. Stuff for me, stuff for the house, stuff for the shop ... it goes on and on. All stuff I want. (Not even getting into my lists for other people.) Some I want more than others, but it all falls under want for some reason or other. I know. It's embarrassing.

Compare that to my second list: Stuff I Need. Truth is, this one is actually pretty short. For example, I need a new roof on half of my house. We replaced the other half last summer and will take care of the rest this year, but I still need it at the moment. (Note: we finished the roof work since I wrote this, but I left it as is since it properly depicted where I was at the time.) I need a new septic tank. I need to have the fluids changed in my Jeep. And I need someone to make a really, really good coffee ice cream bar without any nuts. (Okay, "need" might be a bit of a stretch on that last one, but not much.) That's pretty much all I can come up with, believe it or not.

Now, let's look at that last list: Stuff Missing From My Life.

*waits a few beats*

I got nothing.

Seriously, even after writing up my "needs" list, I can't come up with anything that is really missing from what I have. For instance, my roof may need replaced, but I have one. Same with the septic tank. My Jeep may need some routine maintenance, but it currently runs fine. And as for the ice cream bars, well, that's a close one but there are some salted caramel ones out there that do almost as well.

I have all the necessities ... food, shelter, clothing, companionship, money to pay my bills. I have lots of luxuries ... computer, tablet, camera, TV ... the list could go on. I have tons of nature ... my garden, greenhouse, tadpoles, birds, snakes, chipmunks. I have entertainment and hobbies ... cooking, writing, gaming, painting, woodworking, reading, hiking, photography, etc. I have challenges  ... take random items from any other category mentioned above and you'll find tons of them. Could I add others? Sure. Are they really "missing" ... as in there is a noticeable hole or absence where they should be? Nope, not at all.

Don't misunderstand. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with wanting stuff. Wanting, in my opinion, is a good thing. It motivates us. Gives us things to strive for. Keeps life changing and moving forward. Those are all good things. As, of course, is satisfying all our essential needs. But, to realize ... I mean really, really realize ... that there is nothing truly lacking in the life you are leading, well that is a truly awesome feeling.

So, what does this all mean? I'm honestly not really sure. I guess my point here (assuming I actually have one ... I don't always) is that I think every once in awhile we need to set aside thoughts about what we want or even what we need. Instead, maybe, look for what is missing. Hopefully, like me, you'll discover not much, if anything. But, if you DO find something, I think that is where your focus really needs to be. Fill that void. It's worth it. Contentment could rest just on the other side.